the mountains ahead

Thursday, January 20, 2005

i am feeling melancholic
i am confused.
read somewhere it was good to be confused,
and check things out to clear your doubts.
in my case, no matter how much i clear
i end up getting more swept under the carpet.
it is very interesting how i am reacting to all this.
suprisingly numb.
bird flu's on the rise again.
this time in vietnam,
my bio teacher said that a group of doctors and scientists prediect.
an epidemic will hit earth in the next 10 years and alot of humans will die.
it seriously scared the shit out of me as there is just so many things i havent done.
but does it matter?
dying aint exactly a bad idea too?
what is life after death?
i am mighty interested to find out.
hm. planned to actually revise chemistry and biology over the weekened.
is it possible?
i can feel my motivation ebbing away.
got quite a hefty pile of homework waiting to be done.
i cant believe how fast this year is progressing.
i feel like im in some time warp.
i want to watch the aviator!
who is free enough to go with me?!
havent seen a movie in ages.
the last probably being national treasure,
which actually isnt that old.
but it certainly feels like a long time.
i really miss msg-ing you and stuff.
though not weighing much in content...
what rubbish am i talking about. content is all that matters.
let me rephrase it,
i just miss you la.
you're so busy with work you cant even spare 2 minutes.
maybe i just dont understand the whole thing la.
maybe i was just some girl who couldnt stop pestering you.
maybe i wasnt even the one you are thinking of now.
but whould you even care?
dont think so. you never spare a though for how i would feel.
you never spare a thought at all.
its not worth it but im hanging on.
let's just see how long till i fall.
and when i do, i hope the hatred would go away with the bump.
if not, i would remain bitter and full of anger shit. =/
bahh. what am i talking about?
east zone is gonna start.
im worried and scared and anxious and upset.
i am going to miss soooo many bio lessons.
i do wanna at least get a 4-1 or 3-2 score.
omg. it would be cool to beat one school too.
is that possible? i dont know.
we are one helluva emotional bunch.
it would be very easy to make us nervy.
i cant take it any much longer.