a tag shook me up inside and messed up a dozen thoughts.
we had loads of fun together, no one can in fact replace that.
the memories we shared, the poignant moments will always be remembered.
these are things that cannot be replicated or replaced in my heart.
you might say it's just words.
it would obviously be more if i meant it.
well, i do.
you might not believe it.
i would understand that. i have missed the past group outings.
so many times that i feel so shitty but would you guys see that?
i miss it some by choice, some by circumstances.
i might choose to hang out with others,
i need to fit in.
it's not easy no matter how easy it looks like.
you might find no need for it.
strangely i do.
i know these might just be excuses to you.
it's not enough. but i hope you'll see that im hurting underneath all this.
the strain of managing everything.
do we have to draw a line who is more important and who is not?
i am having a great time now. i dont deny that. who doesnt want to feel that way?
am i sounding selfish? or is it a natural thing not to want to feel miserable?
just two days in advance and i would be able to make it. just not on training days and it should be all dandy and fine. but everything is always last minute. or mostly. i cldnt really cope with that in the past. it's the same damn thing now.
maybe i'm just giving excuses, yea. it's all my fault. being selfish. forgetting all about you guys. pretending i still care, missing every outing, placing others in front of you guys. the list grows.yeap. maybe it's just me. so involved in badminton. so involved in school..
im trying so hard to make things work.tight deadlines dont allow that.
